Loving a sad man

Leaving hurts,
Loving hurts,
The pain he brings you 
is proportional
to the amount of love you feel,
And I'll never understand
how somebody can heal
When having to rip themselves apart
from the only thing
they managed to be needed by.
And I'll miss him,
Or the idea of what
him I could be,
Or the hope that someday
He'll hold me like everything I did was worth it,
I don't know and I don't care 'cos
I'll miss him
And I don't care how much it costed for me to stay,
I feel like a foreign in my own life
Not having to worry about him.
People tell me I cannot cure him,
That I don't have to suffer with him,
That's not my fault I cannot help him,
But I can't stop thinking that
the day after the one I leave
would've been the day I finally find a way to make him happy again.
I can't leave him if the tought of him follows me even when I don't follow myself.
His absence hurts.
I feel mutilated not having him near my soul,
And what really haunts me
Is having to amputate myself from him and doing it with my own hands.
I had to give up
on everything I dreamed about
to save myself from the abyss that's spreading
from him
to the very core of my being,
and I can't afford to get destroyed right now.
So I find myself trying to limit the damages, hoping is not too late now.
It hurts.