Midnight thoughts

I'm 40 kg just for you
not 'cause you ask me
but I know you like bones
and sometimes I just want you to love me more
so I do stupid things with my body,
with my mind,
getting crazy for nothing.
I'd like to hear more often
that you love me like I am
I know it's not your fault
but when you're cold as frost
I feel all my insecurities come out,
do I worth for you anymore?
I try to be kind as much as I can
but what hell is on your mind?
Tell me why you act like this
making me feel like you didn't give a fuck of me
and then you turn back home
to tell me the same tale,
the same story,
to tell me sorry,
you didn't mean it
but I believe you meant it
as long as you think before doing things.
You say you're a mess on this
and I know it
so maybe it's just my fault
if I don't trust you at all.
Sorry for blaming you for the hurt I feel,
it actually comes from me,
it's my fear of loneliness,
when you are everywhere but here.